Marriages & families : intimacy, diversity, and strengths / David H. Olson, John DeFrain, Linda Skogrand. [print]

Part I: The Social Context of Intimate Relationships

Chapter 1: Perspectives on Intimate Relationships

Three Themes of Intimacy, Strengths, and Diversity -- Defining Marriage and Family -- What Is Marriage? -- What Is a Family? -- Trends in Marriage and the Family: Change and Continuity -- Trends in Marriage and Cohabitation -- Trends in Divorce and Remarriage -- Trends in Family Structure -- Continuity in Marriage and the Family -- Focus on Marital and Family Strengths -- Box 1.1 Putting it Together: Learning to Focus on Strengths -- Advantages of Marriage -- Impact of the Social Environment on Relationships -- Stress, Change, and Materialism -- Lack of Time for Oneself and Significant Others -- Increasing Use of Child Care Outside the Family -- Instability of Couple and Family Relationships -- Violence, Criminial Victimization, and Fear -- Use of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Other Drugs -- The Internet and Human Relationships -- Changing Gender Roles and the Balance of Power -- Urban Migration and Overcrowding -- Financial Problems and the Global Economy -- Changing the Social Environment -- Positive Responses to the Social Environment -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

2: Cultural Diversity and Diversity in Family Structure: Family Strengths and Challenges

Diversity and Strengths in Family Structure and Cultural Context -- Intimacy and Diversity -- Gay and Lesbian Couples and Families -- Same-Sex Couple Relationships and Marriage -- Gay and Lesbian Families -- The Challenges of Gay and Lesbian Couples and Families -- The Concepts of Race, Culture, and Ethnicity -- Box 2.1 Diversity in Families: Race Has No Place -- U.S. Demographics and Future Trends -- The Hispanic Population -- The African American Population -- The Asian American Population -- The American Indian and Alaska Native Populations -- What the Future Will Bring -- Challenge to Researchers and Practicioners -- Research -- Practice -- Cultural Competence -- Awareness -- Knowledge -- Skills -- Kin Relationships Across Culture -- Family Strengths and Sociocultural Characteristics Across Various Ethnic Groups -- Three Family System Characteristics -- Three Sociocultural Characteristics -- Family Strengths and challenges Across Ethnic Groups -- Strengths of White Families -- Box 2.2 Self Assessment: Rate the Strengths in Your Family -- Strengths of African American Families -- Strengths of Latino Families -- Strengths of Asian American Families -- Strengths of American Indian Families -- Box 2.3 At Issue: Historical Trauma and American Indians -- Cross-Cultural Family Studies -- Box 2.4 Diversity in Families: The Tables Are Turned: Going from the Majority to the Minority -- Challenges for Ethnic Families -- Assimilation, Acculturation, and Segregation -- The Advantages of Being in the Majority -- Marriage Outside the Group -- Relationships Between Men and Women -- Relationships Between Parents and Children -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

3: Understanding Marriage and Family Dynamics

The History of Family Science -- Family Science in the Early Years -- Family Science Today -- Models of Couples and Families -- Family Systems Theory -- Box 3.1 Putting It Together: Reorganization of the Family System After a Car Accident -- Box 3.2 Diversity in Families: Cultural Conflicts for a Female Chicana College Student -- Family Strengths Framework -- Family Development Framework -- Interaction Framework -- Social Construction Framework -- Feminist Framework -- Three Key Relationship Concepts -- Cohesion in Couples and Families -- Box 3.3 Putting it Together: Theories and Research -- Flexibility in Couples and Families -- Communication in Couples and Families -- Couple and Family Map -- Balanced Versus Unbalanced Families -- Balanced Relationships Are More Healthy -- Value of Couple and Family Map -- Family Dynamics in Television and Movies -- Everybody Loves Raymond: A Rigidly Enmeshed Family -- What About Bob?: A Rigidly Connected Family -- The Osbournes: A Chaotically Enmeshed Family on MontanaV -- Dynamics Change in Relationships Over Time -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

Part II: Dynamics of Intimate Relationships

4: Communication and Intimacy

Couple Strengths and Issues in Communication -- Perspectives on Communication -- Gender Differences in Communication -- Box 4.1 Self Assessment: Your Gender Communication Quotient -- Cultural Differences in Communication -- Box 4.2 Putting It Together: All Together at Family Mealtimes -- Using Communication to Develop Intimacy -- Communication as a Cooperative Endeavor -- Content and Relationship Messages -- Nonverbal Communication -- Mixed Messages and Double Binds -- Metacommunication: Clarifying Your Communication -- Continuous Partial Attention -- Using Communication to Maintain Intimacy -- Speaking: The Art of Self-Disclosure -- Listening: A Difficult Skill -- Assertive, Passive, and Aggressive -- Communication -- Positive and Negative Communication Cycles -- Box 4.3 Putting It Together: Using Communication to Increase Intimacy -- The Positive Influence of Assertiveness -- The Negative Influence of Avoidance -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

5: Conflict and Conflict Resolution

Couple Strengths and Issues in Conflict Resolution -- Conflict and Anger: An Overview -- The Hierarchy of Conflict -- Anger and Conflict Taboos -- Myths, Theories, and Facts About Anger -- Intimacy and Conflict -- Intimacy Breeds Conflict -- Box 5.1 Putting It Together: Anger: Myths and Facts -- Love and Anger in Balance -- The Dance of Anger -- Conflict and Supportiveness in Heterosexual, Gay, and Lesbian couples -- Box 5.2 At Issue: Determining Styles of Conflict Resolution in Happy Versus Unhappy Couples -- Approaches to Conflict Resolution -- Fighting Fairly -- Constructive and Destructive Approaches -- Styles of Conflict Resolution -- Resolving Conflict: Six Basic Steps -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

6: Sexual Intimacy

Intimacy, Strengths, and Diversity -- Couple Strengths and Sexual Issues -- Sex and Society: An Overview -- Sexuality, Sex, and Gender -- Historical Perspectives on Sex and Society -- Gay and Lesbian Couples -- Sexuality Across Cultures -- HawaiiV/AIDS--Three Decades Later -- American Sexual Behavior -- National Survey of Sexual Behavior -- The ABC News Survey -- Sexuality in the Later Years -- Gay-Male and Lesbian Sexual Behavior -- Sexual Behavior Among Adolescents and Young Adults -- Unintended Consequences, Teen Pregnancies, and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) -- Education for Sexuality -- Sexuality Education and Parents -- Is Sex Education Effective? -- Sexual Behavior, Alcohol, and College -- Marital and Extramarital Sexual Behavior -- Sex Within Marriage -- Box 6.1 Putting It Together: Advice From Masters and Johnson on Sexual Health -- Marital Styles and Sexual Behavior -- Infidelity -- Toward Sexual Health -- Sexual Problems and Dysfunctions -- Box 6.2 Diversity in Families: Extramarital Sex Around the World -- Sex Therapy -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

7: Gender Roles and Power in the Family

Intimacy, Strengths, and Diversity -- Gender Roles -- Gender Roles and Marriage -- Distribution of Work by Gender -- Emotion Work in Marriage and Family Life -- Two Gallup Surveys of Male and Female Tra50its -- Traditional Versus Contemporary Views of Gender Roles -- Box 7.1 At Issue: The Work-Family Interface -- The Move Toward More Egalitarian Roles -- An International Perspective -- Box 7.2 Diversity in Families: Gender Roles in Japan -- Gender Roles Across Ethnic Groups -- Mexican American Culture -- African American Culture -- American Indian Culture -- Asian American Culture -- Theories About Gender Roles -- Social Learning Theory -- Cognitive Development Theory -- Family Systems Theory -- Feminist Framework -- Box 7.3 At Issue: Gender Inequality as a Global Problem -- Power in Families -- The Three Faces of Power -- Types of Power Patterns -- Egalitarian Roles and Marital Satisfaction -- Communication and Power Dynamics -- Suggestions for Minimizing Power Issues -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

8: Managing Economic Resources

Money and Happiness -- Couple Strengths and Financial Issues -- Diversity and Financial Style -- Box 8.1 At Issue: The Effects of Debt on Newlyweds -- The Cost of Divorce -- Why Do Finances Cause Problems? -- Box 8.2 Putting It Together: Steps to Financial Freedom -- Family Income and Expenses -- Family Income -- Annual Household Expenses -- Family Net Worth -- Does It Pay to Work Outside the Home? -- Box 8.3 At Issue: The Cost of Having and Raising a Baby -- Smart Money Management -- Creating a Budget -- Pooling Money: Pros and Cons -- Credit: Uses and Abuses -- Credit Cards--Dangerous Plastic -- Advantages and Disadvantages of Credit -- Purchasing a Home -- Box 8.4 At Issue: The Credit Card Trap and How to Avoid It -- Avoiding Debt and Bankruptcy -- Financial Counseling -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

Part III: Stages of Intimate Relationships

9: Friendship, Intimacy, and Singlehood

Friends Versus Lovers -- The Fabric of Friendship -- The Tapestry of Love -- Box 9.1 Putting It Together: Ten Traits of Love -- Contrasting Friends and Lovers -- The Love Triangle -- Box 9.2 At Issue: Love and Science -- Jealousy: A Green-Eyed Monster or Real Love? -- Looking for Love on the Internet -- Exploring Intimacy: From Experience to Relationship -- Paths to Intimacy Differ in Males and Females -- Intimacy and Communication -- Intimate Experiences Versus an Intimate Relationship -- The Paradox of Marriage and Intimacy -- Developing Intimacy in Couple Relationships -- Communication Skills -- Couple Closeness -- Couple Flexibility -- Personality Compatibility -- Conflict Resolution -- Intimacy Games -- Constructive Intimacy Games -- Destructive Intimacy Games -- Limiting Destructive games -- Attachment Theory and Intimacy -- Being Single -- Box 9.3 Diversity in Families: New Definitions in Singlehood -- A Historical Perspective on Being Single -- Being Single Today -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

10: Dating, Mate Selection, and Living Together

Courtship Patterns -- Parent-Arranged Marriages -- Dating: An American Creation -- Hooking Up: The Contemporary Trend -- Internet Dating and Matchmaking Services -- Dating Among Older People -- Box 10.1 Putting It Together; Dating Do's and Don'ts -- Criteria for Choosing a Mate -- Physical Attractiveness -- Age and Finding a Mate -- Interracial and Interfaith Marriages -- Theories of Mate Selection -- Homogamy Versus Complementarity -- The Stimulus-Value Role Theory -- Reiss's Wheel Theory of Love -- Conflict and Violence in Dating -- Box 10.2 At Issue: Dating Violence Warning Sign -- Living Together -- Cohabitation's Dramatic Increase -- Types of Cohabiting -- Difficult Choices -- Box 10.3 Putting It Together: Ten Ideas to Consider Before Cohabitating -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

11: Marriage: Building a Strong Foundation

Intimacy, Strengths, and Diversity -- Perspectives on Marriage Today -- The Benefits of Marriage -- Marriage and Black Americans -- When Marriages Do Not Work -- The Decline in Marriage -- Components of a Successful Marriage -- Marriage Education -- Premarital Education -- What Constitutes an Effective Premarital Program? -- Box 11.1 Putting It Together: The Puerto RicoEPARE Program for Premarital Counseling -- Predicting a Successful Marriage -- Box 11.2 At Issue: Predicting Marital Success -- Importance of Families of Origin in Marriage -- Kathy's Family of Origin -- Jim's Family of Origin -- Goals for the Marriage -- Newlywed Years -- Keeping Marriages Strong -- Five Types of Marriages -- Changes in Marital Satisfaction Over Time -- Why Marriages Fall Apart -- Keeping Your Marriage a Top Priority -- The Role of Forgiveness in Marriage -- The Role of Sacrifice in Marriage -- Federal Healthy Marriage Initiative -- Changes in Policy and State Laws to Strengthen Marriage -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

12: Parenthood: Satisfaction and Challenge

Roots and Wings -- Couple Strengths and Issues in Parenitng -- The Challenge of Parenthood -- Myths and Realities of Parenthood -- The Transition to Parenthood -- Financial Issues and Children -- Adoption -- The Child-Free Alternative -- Styles of Parenting -- Democratic Style -- Authoritarian Style -- Permissive Style -- Rejecting Style -- Uninvolved Style -- Democratic Parenting Works Best -- Theories of Childrearing -- Issues in Parenting -- The Need for Positive Discipline Today -- Corporal Punishment and Its Consequences -- Child Care -- Box 12.1 Putting It Together: The Mother's Book by Mrs. Child -- Box 12.2 Diversity in Families: Child Carre for the Growing Hispanic Population -- Coparenting -- Single Mothers -- Box 12.3 At Issue: Looking for a Very High Quality Child Care Program and Positive Caregivign -- Gay and Lesbian Parenting -- Fatherhood and Motherhood Today -- When a Child Dies -- Educational Programs and Resources for Parents -- The Joy and Enduring Satisfaction of Parenthood -- Box 12.4 Putting It Together: Owl Moon Walk -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

13: Midlife and Older Couples

Intimacy, Strengths, and Diversity -- Family Life in the Middle Years -- Defining Middle Age -- Middle Age: A Crisis or an Opportunity? -- The Middle-Aged Person and the Working World -- Sexuality in Middle Age -- Box 13.1 Diversity in Families: Childlessness: The Invisible Group -- The Middle-Aged Marriage -- Increasing Divorce During the Middle Years -- Empty Nest, Spacious Nest, or Cluttered Nest? -- Caught in the Middle: The Sandwich Generation -- Grandparenthood -- Grandparents Raising Grandchildren -- Family Life in the Later Years -- Defining Old Age -- Conventional Wisdom About Old Age -- Retirement -- Long-Term Marriages -- Box 13.2 At Issue: Alzheimer's -- Couple Relationships in Later Years -- Changes in Family Dynamics in the Later Years -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

Part IV: Challenges and Opportunities

14: Stress, Abuse, and Family Problems

Intimacy, Strengths, and Diversity -- Cross-Cultural Perspectives on Couple and Family Stress -- What We Know About Stress -- Coping with Stress -- Stress and Life Events -- Boundary Ambiguity and Family Stress -- Common Stressful Issues -- A Roller Coaster Course of Adjustment -- Family Systems Change Before and After the 9/11 Attacks -- War and Its Effect on Families -- Couples -- Box. 14.1 At Issue: The Impact of War on Families Left Behind -- Children -- The Role of Community in Supporting Military Families -- Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and War -- Family Coping Strategies -- Theoretical Perspectives -- Coping with 9/11 -- Box 14.2 Putting It Together: Strategies for Managing Stress -- Domestic Violence -- Incidence of Domestic Violence -- Diversity and Domestic Violence -- National Survey of Domestic Violence -- Relationship of Physical Abuse and Psychological Abuse -- Factors Contributing to Domestic Violence -- Patterns of Domestic Violence -- Treatment and Prevention of Domestic Violence -- Domestic Violence and Children -- Child Abuse and Neglect -- Incidence of Child Abuse and Neglect -- Psychological Aggression and Spanking -- The Impact of Abuse on Children -- Transcending Abuse -- Families at Risk -- Box 14.3 Putting It Together: Surviving and Transcending a Traumatic Childhood: The Dark Thread -- Treatment and Prevention of Child Abuse -- Sibling and Child-to-Parent Abuse -- Sibling Abuse -- Child-to-Parent Abuse -- Alcohol Problems in Families -- Alcohol as a "Cause" of Family Violence -- The Family's Reaction to Alcohol Abuse -- Treatment and Prevention of Alcoholism -- Acknowledging the Dangers of Legal Drugs -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

15: Divorce, Single-Parent Families, and Stepfamilies

Intimacy, Strengths, and Diversity -- Divorce in Today's Society -- Historical Trends -- Box 15.1 Diversity in Families: The Globalization of Divorce -- Divorce Laws and Views on Divorce -- Box 15.2 At Issue: Dissolution of Interracial Marriages -- Understanding Divorce -- The Culture of Divorce -- Why Couples Divorce -- The Impact of Divorce on Adults -- The Impact of Divorce on Children -- Divorce in High-Conflict Versus Low-Conflict Marriages -- Adjusting to Divorce -- Emotional Divorce -- Legal Divorce -- Economic Divorce -- Coparental Divorce -- Community Divorce -- Psychological Divorce -- How Long Does It Take to Adjust? -- Single-Parent Families -- Fathers -- Strengths of Single-Parent Families -- New Meaning of Family -- Stepfamilies -- Differences Between Nuclear Families and Stepfamilies -- Stages in the Formation of a Stepfamily -- Children in Stepfamilies -- Couples in Stepfamilies -- Stepfamilies in Diverse Populations -- Boundary Ambiguity in Stepfamilies -- Stepfamilies in Later Life -- Building Stepfamily Strengths -- Summary -- Key Terms -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

16: Strengthening Marriages and Families Worldwide

Global Perspectives on Family, Community, and Cultural Strengths -- Family Strengths -- Community Strengths -- Cultural Strengths -- Two Visual Models Integrating Family, Community and Cultural Strengths -- Box 16.1 Diversity in Families: The Perennial Philosophy -- Premarital and Marriage Programs -- Premarital Programs for Marriage -- Couple Education Programs -- Marital and Family Therapy -- Common Problems in Couple Relationships -- Problems Related to Closeness and Flexibility -- How Effective is Marital and Family Therapy? -- Choosing a Marital and Family Therapist -- Family Therapy Case Study -- Strengthening Your Marriage and Family Relationships -- Building a Stronger Marriage -- Building a Stronger Family -- Box 16.2 Putting It Together: Building a Stronger Marriage -- Box 16.3 Putting It Together: Building a Stronger Family -- The Future of Your Family -- Summary -- Activities -- Suggested Readings

Appendices

Appendix A Couple and Family Scales A-1 -- Appendix B Family Science and Research Methods A-7 -- Appendix C Contraception and Abortion Options A-13 -- Appendix D Pregnancy and Childbirth A-25

"Our goal in writing Marriages and Families: Intimacy, Diversity, and Strengths has been to provide students with information about marriage and family relationships that will help them move toward Mace's goal. We have tried to make the concepts and ideas presented in this book useful and meaningful so students will be able to apply them to their own lives. We hope to help students integrate intellectual ideas and personal experiences, thereby enriching both. Although the text deals with some complex ideas and materials, it is written in a style that is accessible to students new to the field of family studies and to those wanting to learn more about intimate relationships. Intimacy, Strengths, and Diversity"--

Includes bibliographies and index.

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